Internal Wars

Posted bySecret BreePosted inWordsTags:, , , , , , , , , , , ,
Original image by Japanese artist Avogado6

Swarming, Swarming
Crawling inside me 
My thoughts scratch along my veins
Becoming chains.
Drowning, Drowning
Underneath all my failures
I’ve been in this place before
So insecure

Looking in the mirror
The pressure is so severe,
Time to eliminate those thoughts
Before I disappear;
I will not hold myself hostage
And become a prisoner of fear.

Battling, battling
In this war of the mind
The evidence is in the bloodstains
Of defeated domains.
Raging, Raging
Underneath all my failures
I’ve been this place before
I won’t open that same door.

Let me encourage you… Our past battles (bloodstains) remind us of how far we have come. Eventually, we’ll learn not to open up to those old thoughts and ways of thinking. Courage dear reader, your battle is not over.

41 thoughts on “Internal Wars”

  1. Every line in this poem resonated with me and felt like you’ve written this just for me! You’re amazing, Secrets and you’re definitely one of my favorite poets!! Love and hugs to you✨❤️

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    1. Wow… Nathi, you have completely amazed me with this comment. I doubt I deserve such high praise, but I so appreciate your support. Those internal wars are ferocious sometimes right? I feel though that the older I get and the more I learn, I recognise improvements in how I manage them. Thank goodness for personal growth!

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    1. Thank you for telling me that Lorraine. Unfortunately I think everyone of us can relate to these internal struggles, but we often feel so alone in them. They are more common than we realise.

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      2. A complex and raw topic to be sure. I would suggest that growth is more circular or swirled than linear, so we often come back around and learn similar things again. There is actually a lot of study in the area of neuroplasticity (the ability for the brain to grow new thought pathways), so apparently it is quantifiable 🤷🏼‍♀️ However, I believe that many of us don’t notice the little changes in ourselves. It often requires those closely connected to us to point it out and encourage us. 💜

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      3. I absolutely agree with that and I have looked into neuroplasticity as well and find it to be quite possible. Like muscle growth however, the redirection of those pathways can be slow. long. and very difficult and with the state of mind we can be in while trying to make those changes, it can make one feel defeated more often than not. That is why it IS very important to have solid support to lean on, when it seems hopeless, but also like you said, to point out when the changes are occurring.

        😉 I like you AND your way of thinking.

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  11. Nice: “I will not hold myself hostage / And become a prisoner of fear.” And great title. And reminded me of Dune and Frank Herbert — “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear.”

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