Reconcile – 2

This poem is incredibly personal and I ask that you treat it as such.

I have another piece called Reconcile, but the poems are not about the same person. I hesitate to publish this piece, as it seems incredibly harsh and judgemental. However, these are truly secret thoughts… I spill them out here for you. There is a pain in watching someone you love make bad decisions over and over. What I’m continually learning is that the pain is not mine to carry.

How do I reconcile all this?
How do I be two people at once – 
one who supports you unconditionally 
and the one who’s had enough?

You make terrible choices 
while being angry at the world 
always wondering 
‘how did my life end up like this?’

Taking the easy way out 
has never ended well for you 
but you’re not good at being uncomfortable 
so you take it every time

You talk in fantasy 
painting a future with no foothold in reality 
holding onto the falsehoods 
that will never be

Your dreams become nightmares 
as you face the consequences
I saw coming a mile away
but I don’t care about being right 
while you face what you’ve done wrong

I’ve always tried to protect you 
help you find ways through 
my self-imposed pressure 
of knowing exactly what to say 
and exactly what to do

Mistakes aren’t the sum of who we are 
but repeated mistakes can make the sum of us 
and your mistakes aren’t mine 
I can’t carry you all the time

How do I reconcile all this? 
How do love you when you’re two people at once –  
one who’s my older sibling
and one who’s never grown up?

16 thoughts on “Reconcile – 2

  1. Am glad you have find yourself despite everything, the ability to see it is not your pain to carry nor your fault or responsibility on how people react or carry themselves.❤️ Powerful piece🔥🔥❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hard Choices! They are so hard to live with when it comes to those we love. Letting go hurts and leaves scars on our hearts and it’s so hard to do. Even when we must. Even when we know the end results before it happens. And there is really nothing we can do to stop it because they have the freedom and free will to do as they please as adults under the law, while knowing they make choices like willful children that put themselves in horrible situations. For someone you love it is hard not to want to be a lifeguard for them, no matter who they are in your life – spouse, child, sibling parent and even when you could force your will and choices upon them. It is so hard to face reality in these situations – letting go of someone to face their new and own choices is never easy for us because of our love for them and knowing or believing it is our duty to try and prevent the consequences.

    Unless we are granted the power by the law to make their decisions we are sadly forced to make a change and choice in ourselves – we must realize and more importantly accept and reconcile the realities of life and love. When your Beloved is granted the right and freedom to choose, those who love them provide the knowledge of choices, the good and evil and then release them. Hard choices and letting go are never easy to do. Accepting and reconciling the truth that “I Love You but not what you do”!

    Unless one has experienced this situation themselves it is almost impossible to know the emotional pain and memories left on those who have had to deal with it. Accepting and reconciling is a lifetime process.
    Be loving and understanding to everyone who has had to make – HARD CHOICES!
    xoxo 💖💕🌹

    I experienced this with my brother’s choice to resign from life at 25 and to move on to whatever the Universe has in store. It’s a lifetime process of holding feelings in balance and “reconciled”, not an easy process, to be sure!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. In answer to your first stanza, I recommend “detached compassion” as I call it. It has saved my heart much agony over the years. Their journey is their own and not one you are to be burdened with if they do not take control of it. Remember, you deserve not to be burned out by someone else’s constant mistakes. You can be empathetic, but boundaries are important. ((hugs))

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Boundaries, yes boundaries! I never thought I needed boundaries with my family, until I realised I was draining myself of energy from all I was giving away. Wise words here Susi. I won’t forget to come back and read them when I need the reminder 💜

      Liked by 1 person

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