Trigger Warning and Personal Note: The following poem is about about Bipolar disorder and some of its impacts. It also touches on childhood trauma and suicide in less obvious ways.
This poem is incredibly personal and I ask that you treat it as such. Up until recently, I worked in mental health and understand the complexity of people’s journey. I’ve also experienced mental health issues in my family and understand the complexity of walking along side someone who struggles. I love my family beyond everything, but there are days when the (self-imposed) pressure of holding everyone together becomes too much. On those days, poetry such as this bleeds out of me.
Colour found here on Pinterest
How do I reconcile all this?
How do I be two people at once –
one who’s always there for you
and one who’s had enough?
You talk of childhood trauma
as though it’s something new
but we’ve been having the same talk for ten years
wondering if you’ll ever heal
You blame your bad decisions on our parents –
your formative experiences conflict with mine
yet you hold onto them so tightly
it’s hard to know what’s real anymore
The cycle of internal pain always surprise you
while I’m here pulling you up again
taking the rope
stopping the overdose of sorrow
Loyalty isn’t something you care about
you never have and that’s okay
but it makes me wonder why I’m so hell-bent
on giving you mine
The strain’s becoming too much
I’m caught between my life
and the way you live yours –
we’re so similar, yet so different
I wonder if I’m too judgemental
if I shouldn’t simply leave you to run wild with your life
stop being a voice of reason
stop challenging your frantic thoughts –
it’s not like I have it all together
How do I reconcile all this?
How do I love you, when you’re two people at once –
one who’s always there for you
and one who’s had enough?
I don’t often publish poetry like this one; you have my WP friend VB to thank
💜
Secret Thoughts Within 
Very few things I will say I get you or I understand, for this one, I completely relate and feel you. I always come back to self love before love another. You are incredibly insightful Bree.
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Oh yes, that’s so true Cassa and so important to remember. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I see you just as much as you see me 💜
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And we really need to do that coffee date when I stubble into your town one day. 😉
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YES!
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☕☕
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😁
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Very relatable Bree and really well written. I know this feeling well albeit in a different context.
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read this Tom. The feeling can overwhelm at times which is a sign it’s time for a break with some tea and poetry.
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This is so brave and honest – and do let poetry like this bleed out of you, specially if it helps you heal and cope with that pressure. I’m so proud of you, Bree 💜💜💜
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Thank you VB, thank you so much for being my poetic witness in these moments. I appreciate you 💜💜💜
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💜
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I hear you. I feel you. I am you (along with 100s of thousands of others).
Some of us enable until we discover (in my case, after 12+ years of intensive therapy) we must and can let go to save ourselves. Thanks for sharing
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Thanks for reading Jeff and commenting with your own experience. I think in this last cycle, the ‘letting go’ has really hit home for me. Otherwise it’s like trying to steady an ocean buoy during a storm, it’s impossible and you get thrown around with it. 💜
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🖤🖤🖤
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💜💜💜
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This has a lot of mirroring in living relationships, sometimes I wonder if I should speak with a relationship counsellor for myself and my own internal conflicts. Great poem, very relatable not only to internal experience but also external.
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Talking with a qualified professional is always a great idea 🙂
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Deep and powerful, Bree. I completely understand this, have been through it, still am in some ways, and feel this one much.
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Thank you for telling me Jeff, I don’t take it lightly 💜
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After reading your poem, I was sitting in silence…speechless I was for a moment…while my head was nodding…so beautifully you’ve expressed such deep emotions…difficult to be in them at times…writing is therapy…it gives that breathing space…reconnection to self-love…I can relate to your heartfelt lines…the picture is slightly different though…Bree, be proud of yourself for writing & sharing this poem with us…I am…keep expressing, my dear friend ✨💟💫💟
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😭 Thank you Navin 💜
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You’re welcome Bree 💟
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