Down

Shut it down

Shut it down, shut it off.

Removing one small page of poetry is of no importance nor any loss.

No one will know and no one will care.

To pretend any of it matters really isn’t fair.

I am consumed by disgust for my own creativity and clumsy words.

When I read back over what I’ve written, it’s all just so absurd.

I sink down

Down

D

O

W

N

Into despair.

Who even cares if I live down there?

Ever the critic,

Judgemental and harsh

Did I really write that?

What a fucking laugh.

Stuck down in a pit

Where my insecurities lie

If I stay there too long

I know all my words will die.


There are days when my inner critic sounds far too loud and I want to shut this page down. However, I remember that most creatives feel like this from time-to-time and I remember a poem (by Tom Alexander) which always encourages me.

33 thoughts on “Down

  1. I was reading through this, thinking ‘yep, yep, yep’. And then saw I got a name-check πŸ˜ƒ Thank you, made me day. I think a lot of people have those days, but you have to resist the urge to erase and let it be – you’ll come back to it feeling inspired and motivated again soon enough. Hang in there!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Haha… Ooooo, special mention πŸ˜† And seriously, I do love The Beginner… It’s a perspective shifter for me! One of my favourite ‘poets poems’.
      I honestly think I have these thoughts every few weeks, but it’s so frequent that I know I just have to wait it out πŸ˜…πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£ I am hanging in there. Thanks Tom.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi friend,
    Every writer feels that way someday
    But it is important for us to hold ourselves together at such time because we are vulnerable beyond words and even a little thing can break us.
    But we should remain strong till we have a huge comeback.
    Sending lots of strength and virtual hugs to you 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it’s good to hear other people’s creative process and struggle… It can make you feel less alone and realise it can be a normal part of creative growth. For me, digging deep in those low moments and having a supportive community (like this one), helps keep my inner critic from winning. Also nice hear you like Tom’s piece as well, it has ‘stuck with me’
      ever since I first read it. He’s a talented one that one.

      Like

  3. Dear Secrets, Please stop listening to your inner critic. Follow this advice – “Don’t let praise go to your head or criticism go to your heart”. Just reblogged a great poem you should read, Dear! Please do? I want it to lift you up and show you that you are so, so wrong about your writing! Your writing is great and comes from your heart – It is GOOD ENOUGH for you and the rest of us too!
    Please read this –
    https://interstellarpoetry.wordpress.com/2021/01/16/good-enough-for-me/
    I LOVE your writing and does the rest of WP community, Dear!
    Smile and Be Happy, Please!
    xoxox πŸ˜˜πŸ’•πŸ’–πŸ˜ŠπŸŒΉπŸŒΉπŸŽπŸŽ

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I have no plans to close down this page at the moment. My passing discouragement… I like to keep them passing. Acknowledging how I feel, but not letting it consume me too much 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Ahh my heart. I wish the ones that we could shut-off is our inner critics. Screw them hahaha Just kidding. We also need them at times. Thank you for this. I realized that the creative brain functions when we are feeling down >.<

    P.S. Let us not let our words die. hahaha Have a great day!!

    Liked by 1 person

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